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10 August 2010 @ 02:00 pm
[fanfic] Puerto Rico & Taiwan - "Kuya, Hermano, & Oni-san"  
Title: Puerto Rico & Taiwan - Kuya, Hermano, &Oni-san
Part: One Shot
Characters: OCPiri, OCPuerto Rico, Taiwan,Vietnam, Japan, Mexico, & some America
Pairings: Misguided attempt at being cupid x Puerto Rico & Taiwan
Warnings: PG+13, Implied Adult Situations, OC Warning, randomness, stupidity, unbetated mind-dribble!! READ AT OWN RISK.
Summary: Puerto Rico and Taiwan want to make their sister happy and with this in mind, they begin their misguided attempts to hook her up with who they think would suit her best. For Puerto Rico, it is Piri's estranged brother, Mexico. For Taiwan, it is their esteemed Oni-san, Japan. The bet is made.


"No doubt that when he appears, she'll run into his arms and make with the nieces and nephews."

A snort left the Asian nation. "What!?" she laughed as she tossed her head back. "Are you joking? That would never happen!"

The Latin American bristled. "And why not!?" Ana demanded, insulted.

"Because everyone knows that Kiku-ge-ge will be here."

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.
Kuya, Hermano, &Oni-san
.one shot.
By DamageCtrl
*All Standard Disclaimers Apply: I do not own anything other than the plot. Even then, it's not that creative.
.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.

"I hate you."

"Hehehe ...I know."

"Mine was better written and you still have more comments." A petite young island nation with long dark hair slumped back against her chair as she crossed her arms and pouted. Beside her, an island territory with wavy brown locks carried a smug look as she kept her hand on a mouse.

"You wish your story was better written," Puerto Rico replied triumphantly.

Next to her, Taiwan bristled. "You only got more comments because there are a lot more MexicoPiri fans than there are Pirihon fans!"

"That's not true! Everyone likes almost all the main pairings on the site!" Ana insisted. "You only got fewer comments because your story was boring!"

Mei sucked in a sharp and horrified gasp of air as she looked at her sister's other sister with wide eyes filled with disbelief. Her story was not boring! It was written out well and reminiscent of her favorite Japanese drama - which she insisted was a classic in itself!

"Oh yeah ...well ...well ..." Mei stammered, flustered. "You're just copying that fanfic 'When East Meets West'!"

"Psh ...that's a mafia fic, Mei," Ana scoffed. She blushed. "And it's really dirty."

Mei blushed as well. "Yeah ...."

There was a moment of silence between then. "It's my favorite fanfic," they admitted at the same time. They looked at each other, unsurely.

"Copy cat!" Ana stated first.

"Look who's talking!"

"Says the girl who can only write something she watches on TV first!"

"You take that back!" she yelled, her high voice echoing off the vaulted ceiling of the large house. They heard someone's slipper-clad footsteps approaching.

"What is going on in here?" the Philippines demanded as she stopped at the doorway to the den, where her computer was located. Brown eyes settled on two wide-eyed pairs staring back at her. "We can hear you two all the way in the kitchen!"


"Ria!" Mei shot up from her seat as Ana's hand moved the mouse over the little 'x' on the browser to quickly close it before her sister could see what they were looking at. Maria narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she lifted her hands to her hips.

"What are you two doing?" she asked as her lips tightened into a line.

"Nothing!" Mei piped nervously.

"Watching crime dramas!" Ana answered at the same time. The Philippines' two sisters quickly turned and shot each other a glare, as if asking what the other was thinking with such a ridiculous answer.

From the threshold, Maria pursed her lips and crinkled her eyes. "I don't know if I want to know, but don't download anything weird on to my computer, okay?" she said as she began to back away. "And keep it down. I can't watch my novellas while we cook if you two keep talking so loud."

"Okay!" the duo chorused. They smiled innocently as their sister cast them one last suspicious look and turned around to head back to the kitchen. As soon as she disappeared from view, the two brunettes let out sighs of relief.

"That was close," Ana frowned. "She almost found out about the comm ...."

"We need to clear out the browser history and cache," Mei said as they turned back to the computer. "So that Jie-jie won't find out and kick us out before her birthday party."

"Just a few more days ...," Ana said as she rubbed her hands together eagerly. "I can't wait! She'll love the present I got her!"

"What did you get her?" Mei asked as she moved the mouse around the screen. "I got her clothes. Hong Kong helped."

A smug look appeared across Puerto Rico's face as she leaned back against her chair. "I can beat that," she said confidently. "I have one word for you: Mexico."

Mei froze for a moment and then turned to look at the territory. "You're taking her on a trip to Mexico?" she asked, confused.

Puerto Rico's face fell. She sat up in her seat and frowned. "No! I invited Mexico here for her birthday!"

Taiwan wrinkled her nose. "Why?"

"Ugh ...," Puerto Rico groaned. "Why else!? She hasn't seen him in a long time. No doubt that when he appears, she'll run into his arms and make with the nieces and nephews."

A snort left the Asian nation. "What!?" she laughed as she tossed her head back. "Are you joking? That would never happen!"

The Latin American bristled. "And why not!?" Ana demanded, insulted.

"Because everyone knows that Kiku-ge-ge will be here," Mei smirked knowingly. "And everyone knows that she likes him." Their narrowed eyes met in a wordless battle.

The doorbell rang in the background, but the two were too engrossed in their silent tension that neither paid attention nor heeded their sister's request for one of them to get the door.

"Mei! Ana! The door!" Maria's voice could be heard from the kitchen.

"Is that so?" the corner of Ana's eye twitched, completely ignorant of their sister's request. "Well, he doesn't stand a chance again my brother!"

The doorbell rang again.

"You wish," Taiwan frowned. "Ge-ge and Jie-jie have more in common!"

"Girls!" Maria yelled. "The door! Can one of you get it!? We have our hands full!"

"What? Rice?" Puerto Rico snorted. "Jandro has far more in common with Ria!"

"Well, Ge-ge is closer to her!"

"Jandro is better looking!"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

"So you admit that he is better looking!" Ana insisted.

The doorbell rang once more. "Ana! La puerta!"

"No ...no!" Mei stammered, her face flushed at the thought.

Ana lifted up her phone and showed the island nation a picture on the screen. "My brother got his looks like this man!" she smirked, happily showing off a picture of her father in a matador outfit ...from behind. "And we all got that!"

Mei sucked in a sharp breath. That was a blow to her argument.

"What is wrong with you two!?" Maria yelled as she passed the living area on her way to the front door. "Don't you hear the door!?"

"I still bet you that Jie-jie will pick Kiku-ge-ge over Smexi-I mean-MEXico!" Mei insisted as her face flushed.

Ana merely laughed at the challenge. "Fine! If Ria picks Mexico, you can't visit her for a year." Mei's eyes widened, as if the idea was hubris. "And you can't use her chest as a pillow anymore!"

"That's not fair!" Taiwan shrieked.

"Ate!" Maria's please voice sounded from the foyer. "Thank you for coming!"

"Oh? Not so confident, are you?" Ana smirked.

"No!" the Asian nation bristled. "You're on! And if Jie-Jie picks Ge-ge, then you can't visit her for a year and you can't hug her for five!"

"Mei, Ana, Vietnam arrived!" Maria appeared in the hall, holding Vietnam's bag as the other Asian nation stood beside her. "She's going to stay with us a few days and-"


"You're on!"

Anh Linh crinkled her eyes and looked at the Philippines. "Is something going on?" she asked as she felt the tension in the air between the two young females in Maria's den.

Maria pursed her lips. "I don't want to know."

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.

The house was relatively quiet for that time in the morning. Mei carefully tiptoed around the sleeping triplets on the floor and rounded the couch where Australia was sleeping with Timor Leste curled up next to him. She could hear someone's snoring from upstairs as she made her way to the kitchen.

In a few hours, it would be complete chaos as her beloved sister frantically prepared all the food for the numerous guests at her birthday party. Until then, only one other person waited for her inside.

"What took you so long?" Puerto Rico frowned as she nibbled on a cookie. "Did you over sleep?"

"No!" Taiwan hissed back as she crept into the room. "It's dark and I had to be careful where I slept since the triplets are sleeping in the living room."

Puerto Rico rolled her eyes and motioned for her to sit down on a chair. "Let's just lay down the ground rules before everyone wakes up."


"Okay, each prospective nation should spend an equal amount of time with Ria. Since we can't force them to spend that much time with her without letting them in on our bet, in which case, Ria will have our heads. We can only point them in Ria's direction when she's by herself and make sure they have an hour without anyone bothering them."

"Then what?" Mei frowned. "What if they don't want to stay?"

"If they don't want to stay, then they're not interested in Maria and you lose."

"What do you mean I lose?"

Ana let out a snort. "You act as if you're surprised. I know Jandro. Jandro won't pull some passive aggressive shit and just leave."

Mei wrinkled her nose. "Well, neither will Kiku-ge-ge!"

"Then it's agreed," Ana nodded. "They each get up to an hour alone with Maria. We'll set it up so that she's alone and then push them in her direction. If they leave before the hour is up, then they are disqualified. If they are there for the full hour, we will see how they progressed."

"What if nothing happens in that hour?" Mei asked.

"Then it is also a disqualification, but," Ana stressed. "If there is even a hint that Maria is interested, I win."

"Why do you win!?" Mei whined. "The results aren't ready yet!"

"It's just a matter of time," Ana smirked. "So, do we have a deal?"

"I guess," Mei grumbled as she shook Ana's extended hand. "When does Mexico get here?"

"He lands in the morning. What about Japan?"

"He said he'd arrive when the party starts, according to the invitation," Mei reported.

The brown-haired territory let out a snort and shook her head. "Japan?" Puerto Rico snorted once more. "I still can't believe that you think she'd actually go out with him!"

"It's still more likely than Jie-jie in your fics!" Taiwan retorted proudly. "She hardly has any contact with Mexico!"

"Oh, they'll be contact!" Puerto Rico countered loudly. "And let me assure you, they'll be enough 'contact' to make up for almost a century and a half!"


"Girls, it's three AM," a tired and somewhat irritated male voice grumbled behind them. "Do you think you can keep it down?"

The duo whirled around, turning to look at the doorway from the kitchen to the hall and saw a blond man in boxers and a white tank top standing beneath the door frame. His glasses were off and he was rubbing the bridge of his nose as his hair stuck in up different directions. For a moment, Taiwan didn't know who he was.

"What are you doing up, Jefe?" Puerto Rico asked as she furrowed her brows.

Alfred lifted his head and let out a heavy sigh. "I can hear your voices all the way upstairs," he said as he gave them a disapproving frown. "Listen, if you don't go to bed and let the rest of us sleep, I'll tell your sister about your fanfics about her."

Mei let out a small, horrified gasp at the threat. "How ...how did you know about those!?" she piped in a high voice.

Ana narrowed her eyes at the bed-headed American and matched his irritated look with a threatening one. "If you even try, Jefe, I'll tell her who exactly wrote that AmericaxPH smut on livejournal." His eyes widened. "That's right. Don't think I don't know."

He seemed to think about his position for a bit before frowning and meeting her eyes challengingly. "I'll tell Maria and Jandro about the MexicoPiri smut!"

Ana gasped. "You can't prove that was me!"

"I can so!"

"No, you can't!"

"Shut up!" a sharp, female voice cut through. Alfred nearly jumped from the doorway as he turned around and saw Vietnam standing there in a thin emerald green night gown and an angry expression. "We're trying to sleep!"

"Sorry!" Anh Linh shot them all warning glares before she turned around and headed back up the stairs.

"If I have to come down one more time ...," she threatened under her breath as she disappeared upstairs. The trio was quiet for a moment longer before Alfred puffed up his chest.


"Jones!" Vietnam's voice hissed. He grimaced and scrambled and scrambled to the stairs.

"Sorry!" Ana and Mei listened to him run the stairs before finally letting out their breaths.

"Hmm ...," Mei said as she narrowed her eyes. "I just realized something."


"Vietnam-jie-jie might be able to help with getting Maria-jie-jie alone," Mei pointed out. "I think we should ask her for help."

Ana looked at Mei, confused. "Do you think she will?"

"Of course!" Mei assured her. "Anh Linh-jie-jie loves Maria-jie-jie almost as much we do!"

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.


"What!?" Mei whined as she dramatically draped herself over the counter and looked up at her older sister's stern face. "Why not!?"

Vietnam remained standing over her pot, stirring its contents as Ana chuckled from her seat at the kitchen table. Outside, Maria was giving orders to Thailand and Australia on how to set up the tables while England and Spain were shouting at each other about a lopsided canopy.

"My fault!?" a voice yelled. "You're the git who said it looked even!"

"I said it looked uneven!"

"Papa, just re-do it!" Maria yelled to silence them.

"Yeah, Arthur, you're going to ruin the poor girl's birthday!" Australia added.

Anh Linh let out a heavy sigh. It was only ten in the morning and most of the guests had yet to arrive. Maria had gotten rid of some of their siblings on some errand to pick up a cake. She made sure to give them plenty of time to return, clearly not trusting them to return without incident.

When China, Hong Kong, and Korea would return was completely unknown, but she supposed that was why Maria had ordered a second cake from the bakery down the street as well.

"Because I don't like the idea of you two forcing your brothers on to your sister," Anh Linh told the duo.

Ana sat up straight. "You're not going to tell her, are you!?"

"Maria-jie-jie will kick us out of her party!" Mei added.

"I think Maria kicking you out is the least of your worries if she finds out," Anh Linh frowned.

"Tita Ana," a small voice said from the threshold of the kitchen. Visayas and Mindanao were walking in, sweaty and panting. "Can we ...can we borrow a chair?"

"A chair?" Ana asked. She nodded. "What for?"

"Tatay needs to stand on it so he can put up some steamers," Visayas said. Another set of quickly approaching footsteps could be heard and Leste stuck her head into the kitchen.

"Make sure it's not wobbly!" she exclaimed.

"I know!" Mindanao grumbled as he and his brother began lifting up a heavy wooden chair.

"Kuya Luz says that your dad is a klutz," Leste was saying as she tried to help them with the chair. Ana chuckled as she watched them carry out the piece of furniture; their dad really was.

"Bring it back when you're done!" Vietnam reminded them. They heard faint 'yeses'. "Look, you two, I won't say anything to Maria, but I advise you not to do something this ridiculous."

"But Jie-jie-"

"No, I don't want to hear it."

A sound rang through the house and Ana perked up. "Guests!" she said. She stood up and walked out to the backyard. "Ria! Can I answer the door!?"

"Ask who it is first and then let them in!" Maria yelled as she held a ladder against the wall.

Ana nodded and then headed back to the front of the house with Mei following behind her. Silently, each girl hoped that the newly arrived guest was their respective sibling. When they opened the door and found someone else, both seemed to lose immediate interest in their guest and leave them standing at the door.

Luzon ended up ushering people in on his mother's behalf. Around one in the afternoon, the entire house was bustling with people. Music was coming from all directions as various nations and people mingled in and outside of Maria's house.

Ana cheerfully danced along to the music as she scooted over to where Mei was sitting on the stairs, a frown on her face as she sat alone.

"Que es tu problema, muchacha?" Ana grinned as she sat down beside the Asian nation. "Could it be that your prospective beau for Ria hasn't arrived? Because I do not see him ...."

"Shut up!" Mei scowled. Her brows furrowed. "Kiku-ge-ge said he was just going to be a bit late! There was a delay with his flight!"

"Right, right," Ana purred smoothly. She motioned her hand towards the living room area where a nation with suntanned skin and dark brown hair was laughing with Alfred while they held bottles of beer in their hands. "As you can see, Mexico is already here."

Mei lifted her nose and let out a huff. "Well, I don't recall Maria-jie-jie running into his arms like you said she would. All I saw was a stiff and awkward greeting before your papa rushed in to hug him."

Ana stumbled for a bit. "Well, it's been a while!" she countered. "You can't expect her to just run into his arms! This isn't fanfiction!" she bristled. She turned her head away in distaste. "Besides, it's only a matter of time before Jandro switches on the 'Carriedo charm!"

Mei opened her mouth to call the so-called 'charm' stupid, when the door bell rang again. Mei sat up straight and craned her neck to the door hopefully. Ana merely sipped on her coconut drink.

"Mama! The door!"

"I've got it," Maria shouted as she appeared in the hall. She lifted her hands to quickly open the door and pull it open. "Ah! Kuya Kiku!" she laughed as she cheerfully greeted the other Asian. As soon as she heard the name, Mei nearly lunged over Ana's lap as she grabbed the bars of the banister and squeezed her head against them to get a better look.

"Happy Birthday, imouto," Japan greeted as he gave her a formal bow and then presented her with a small, neatly wrapped box.

"Thank you!" Maria gracefully accepted the small present and returned the bow before stepping aside and ushering him in.

"Hehehe ...," a small, sinister laugh escaped Mei's voice as she slowly turned her head back to the frowning Latina. "Game on."

Ana rolled her eyes. "That doesn't even make sense," she stated.

Mei shot up from her seat. "Kiku-ge-ge goes first!"

Ana confidently lifted her chin. "Fine. It won't make a difference, anyway."

Taiwan was no longer listening. She rubbed her hands together as she slowly made her way down the stairs she had been sulking on. She passed the small foyer, where Maria was closing the door.

"Oh, Mei," Maria smiled as she saw her. "I was wondering where you are. Did you go greet-" The island nation suddenly sucked in a sharp breath as Mei turned to her and grabbed her chest with her two small hands. "Mei!"

"Soon," the pink-clan brunette seemed to promise them sweetly. "You'll be mine."

Maria's widened as she looked at her sister. "What!?"

Mei stepped back and nodded. "Soon ...."

From the stairs, Puerto Rico ran a hand down her face. Clearly, her partner in crime had lost her mind. Maria stood frozen by the door, her eyes wide as her reddened face watched her younger sister float off. "What ...?" She turned her gaze to the woman in green, leaning against the entryway to the living area while sipping a fruity concoction. "What just happened?"

Anh Linh shrugged. "I don't know," she said in between sips. "But she gets weirder and weirder by the day."

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.
Oil splattered up as they watched their sister's dainty hands carefully place the rice paper wrapped goodies into the bubbling liquid. Her back was turned to the hall as she hummed to herself. Mei nodded and looked back up at Ana from where she was crouched on the floor.

"Okay, she's alone!" she said. "I'll go get Ge-ge!"

She squeezed her way past the other brunette and rushed to the living room to find her brother. Japan was standing by the table of food, nodding his head as another man told him what was laid out on the table. Mei's eyes went wide as she zeroed in on him. Within moments, she was at his side.

"Hi, Kiku-ge-ge!"

"Ah, Mei-chan," Kiku greeted her kindly. "The food looks delicious, does it not?"

"Yeah, sure," Mei nodded. "Can you come with me for a moment?"

Kiku looked from her to his full plate and back. "Right now?" he asked, confused.

"Yes," Mei said. "Maria-jie-jie needs help in the kitchen."

"Oh ...alright," Kiku said. He placed his plate on the table, telling someone that he'd be right back, before following Mei.

As they walked into the hall, Ana innocently pretended to look at the pictures on the wall. Mei walked towards the kitchen and stopped just short of entering. She made a motion for her brother to go in first.

Seemingly confused, the black-haired man walked into the kitchen. Then, Taiwan ran away, disappearing into the hall. Ana crinkled her eyes and shook her head. Did the nation think she was a spy or something?

Inside the kitchen, Kiku looked over his shoulder and realized the person who had led him there had vanished. "Eh? Mei-chan?"

"Hmm?" Maria turned around. She smiled warmly as she saw her brother. "Ah! Did you need something, Kuya Kiku?"

"Ah ...no ...," Kiku replied. He looked around and lifted his hand to scratch his head. "Ano, Ma-chan ...have you seen Mei-chan?"

The Philippines furrowed her brow and shook her head. "No ...," she trailed off. "Why, did she need something?"

"No, I don't believe so ...," Japan said. He looked back at her. "Did you need help with anything?"

"No, no, I'm fine," she assured him cheerfully. "Just go and get something to eat, Kuya. There is plenty!"

"Oh...," Kiku nodded. What was Mei doing? "I will see you later then."

"Okay!" Maria said. She returned to her frying lumpia and Japan turned around to leave, still looking confused. Mei sucked in a heavy breath and hid around the corner, making sure not to be seen as Kiku walked back towards the living room.

When he was out of sight, Taiwan's shoulder slumped forward and she ran a hand down her face. Stupid Kiku and his stupid ...just stupid Kiku! She groaned and gritted her teeth. She had practically handed the opportunity for him to confess his deep seeded feelings to their sister and what did he do? Walk away ....

"So ...," a voice trailed off behind her. Mei instantly scowled at the sound of the patronizing voice. "They really like each other, huh?"

The brunette whirled around and shot a glare at the triumphant looking woman behind her. "Shut up!" she cried as clenched her fists at her sides. "They do! Jie-jie's just busy right now!"

"Oh?" Puerto Rico asked smoothly. "And what about your brother? He didn't seem that interested!"

If possible, Taiwan's face became even redder. "Yes, he is, he's just shy!" she shouted.

"Mei!" a scolding voice came from inside the kitchen. The girl jumped before reluctantly looking over her shoulder and meeting the irritated face of her older sister. "Why are you yelling?" Maria asked with a pair of metal tongs in her hand.

"No reason!" Mei answered quickly. Maria sighed and shook her head. She turned around and placed the tongs on the counter before picking up a glass baking pan that she was using to hold lumpia.

"Just go bring these out to the table," the other female nation said, exasperatedly as she handed the pan to Mei. The younger nation smiled weakly as she took the tray in her hands and stepped back. "Your Kuya said we ran out."

"Yes, Jie-jie ...," she trailed off as she turned around. Maria returned to her cooking and Mei slowly walked out into the hall.

"Hehehe ...," Ana snickered as she leaned against the wall. "Aww ...don't look so down."

"Shut up."

"They lasted a good ...what? Two minutes? Three?" Puerto Rico mused.

Mei shot her a glare. "And you think you can do better?" she snapped. "Ge-ge and Jie-jie at least have more things to talk about. What about her and you brother? They're nothing a like!"

Ana tossed her head back and let out laugh. "Oh, you silly girl ...you've clearly haven't spent any time in Jefe's country," she grinned. "Filipinos and Mexicans have a lot in common!"

"Prove it!" Mei said as they reached the table with all the food. She nearly slammed the pan on table as she scowled at her rival.

"I will," Ana purred. She glanced around the room and caught sight of her eldest brother talking to their father. A wide, Cheshire grin crossed her pretty face. She looked back at Taiwan. "Just you watch. I'll show you how it's done."


As Mei crossed her arms over her chest and wrinkled her nose, Ana slowly made her way across the room. Spain's eyes lit up as he saw her. "Mija!" he beamed. "Did you greet your hermano yet?"

"Papa, I see him all the time," Ana said as she rolled her eyes.

Mexico gave her a little snort and shook his head before taking a sip of his beer. "Good to see you, too, Ana."

"What about you?" Ana said as she nudged his shoulder. "You've been here for hours already and you haven't even talked to the Philippines!"

"We've talked!" Mexico frowned. "Didn't you see us?"

"That doesn't count," Ana frowned. "Go talk to Maria! It's been a long time since you guys chatted, no?"

"Ana," Alejandro sighed tired as he gave her a somewhat sad look. "I don't know what to talk about with her. It's been a long time."

"But you used to be so close!" Ana glanced up at their father, who look saddened by the thought that his children were not talking. "Can't you at least go and see how your hermanita is doing?"

The nation with the dark-brown hair let out a heavy sigh and lowered his bottle of beer. He furrowed his brows and nodded. "I should," he agreed. "It has been away since I've talked to Ria."

"Bueno," Antonio beamed.

Ana put on a devilish smirk as she pointedly looked across the room at Mei. "Si ...bueno." Taiwan shot her an even harder glare as Alejandro rose from his seat. He placed his now empty bottle of beer on the floor and carefully made his way through the crowd to look for his sister.

As he slipped out of the living room, Mei silently began to follow him. He rounded the hall and Taiwan narrowed her eyes at the pair of dark blue jeans that cupped the male nation's butt perfectly. "Damn ...she was right."

"I know."

"Ah!" A hot breath whispered in Taiwan's ear, sending the girl against the wall as she raised her hand to cover her exposed ear. She scowled as Ana stood there, smiling smugly. "What are you doing!?" she hissed.

"I was about to ask you the same question," Ana piped. She glanced up and caught the fleeting sight of her brother's backside. "Checking out my brother's ass, are you?"

"All your brothers have nice asses," Mei admitted. "Are you happy now?"

"Kind of," the Latina mused, smugly.

"Let's just go," Mei rolled her eyes. She prepared to turn around, but felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She let out a heavy breath. "What now?"

"You have to give them their alone time," Ana told her. Mai turned to look at her once more, with skepticism.

"Why?" she grumbled.

Puerto Rico shook her head lightly at Taiwan, as if she were a naive child. "Mei, they need an intimate moment."

Mei just stared at her. "Then how will we know if Jie-jie has responded to him or not?"

"We'll go check on them in twenty minutes," the Latina told her. "By the time we return, Jandro will be so far in Ria's pants that France would be jealous!"

Mei looked at Ana suspiciously as the female territory took her hand and dragged her to the stairs to wait out the twenty minutes. Then the thought struck her. "Wait ...," she said as Ana checked her watch. "Isn't Jie-jie wearing a skirt?"

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.

For Taiwan, it was the longest, most grueling twenty minutes of her life. So much was riding on what would happen within those twenty minutes, she was practically biting her nails with anticipation. If they found Mexico and their sister in the throes of passion, as Puerto Rico seemed to believe, then she couldn't visit the Philippines or hug her sister.

There went to those fun days snorkeling in her warm waters. The long nights where they sang karaoke on the beach. Snuggling Maria's soft, comforting-

"Time!" Ana cried out.

Mei shot up and practically lept from the middle of the stairs. She landed on the tile floor and raced to the kitchen with Ana at her heels. Her heart was pounding as she smelled the food wafting from the kitchen. They nearly skidded to a stop as they reached the entrance.

"It's just ...it's been so long, you know," Alejandro was saying as he stood beside the Philippines, cutting tomatoes on a cutting board beside her. "And I still feel this way."

Ana sucked in a heavy breath, her eyes wide. Yes. This was what she was waiting for.

Beside him, Maria nodded her head and flipped over the tilapia she was frying. "I understand, Nueva."

"She called him Nueva!" Ana wheezed excitedly in a low voice as her hand grabbed Mei's tightly. "Did you hear him!?"

The black-haired island nation remained scowling. They may not have been caught in the throes of passion, with their clothes on the floor like she had imagined, but it was just as bad. "Yeah," Mei hissed behind gritted teeth. "I heard ...."

"Everytime I think of it, my heart still pounds ...and I miss those days," Mexico mused. Ana nodded, completely agreeing with him as she loomed behind the entryway listening in. "I still have feelings for her, Ria."

Ana nodded once more. That's right. He still had feelings for-wait ...'her'? Mei's head perked up as Ana tensed. Who was her idiot brother talking about? Wasn't he talking about Maria and their memories from childhood!?

"Nueva, I understand how you can love mortals," Maria concluded, shedding light into their conversation. "I understand, but you know it is difficult considering what we are."

"I know," Alejandro agreed as he finished cutting the tomatoes. "But I still love Angela ...even if she did marry that other man on her death bed."

A loud groan echoed through the kitchen, causing the two siblings to immediately turn around. Maria's eyes widened as she saw Ana stumble out from around the corner and place her head against the wall. "Ana!?"

Alejandro's tanned face turned rust colored with a humiliated blush. "Ana! What are you doing here!?"

"Your ex-girlfriend ...," Ana muttered as she lifted her head slightly and then banged in on the wall in a frustrated manner. She turned her head slowly towards her brother and shot him a glare. "You're talking about your ex-girlfriend!?"

Mexico looked flustered as he shook his head. "I don't ...how long have you been listening!?"

"This is about Angela?" Ana scowled, her entire bet going down the drain before her very eyes. "You're still hung up over her!?"

"Ana," Maria scolded lightly. "You know Nueva's been really upset ever since she refused to marry him after her husband went crazy and died."

"She broke your heart!" Ana insisted, looking at her brother. "She continued to see her lover and never paid you the time of day, but you still went after her when there were other, better choices!"

"I know ...," Alejandro acknowledged shamefully as he lowered his head.

"I can't believe this," Ana grumbled. "Forget it."

"What?" Maria frowned. "Ana-"

"No ...," Ana said as she lifted her head and pushed herself away from the wall. "Never mind ...." She said as she stumbled away, Mei peeking out at them briefly. Puerto Rico lifted up a hand as she shook her head, defeated. "I'm done here."

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.

Maria stepped out into the porch and looked out at her backyard. She narrowed her eyes and squinted into the dimly light area, at a swinging piece of cloth between two large trees. She could see several arms and legs dangling from the side as two seemingly drained beings lazily continued to lounge there.

"Ana," the Philippines said as she carefully approached the hammock. "Mei?" Instead of answering, the duo seemed to let out various half-hearted sounds to acknowledge that they were alive. Maria furrowed her brows. "Are you two alright?"

More half-hearted sounds, only this time they lifted up a can of carbonated fruit soda and a glass bottle of coke respectively. Maria let out a heavy sigh.

"Alright, but don't stay out here too long. Go to bed soon, okay?"

The noises returned and Maria rolled her eyes before turning around and slowly heading back to her house. On the hammock, Ana and Mei draped themselves over each other, both drained at their mutual defeat. They listened to the sound their sister's footsteps vanishing and waited until they heard the screen door close to resume their conversation.

"So," Ana said as she stared up, past the canopy of leaves above her and into the night sky. "No one won."

"No one won," Mei agreed as she sucked some more orange colored fruit juice from a straw. "Because Kiku-ge-ge is an idiot."

"And Jandro is a moron."

Mei nodded. "Brothers are stupid." Ana clinked her soda with Mei's and nodded in agreement.

"I guess this isn't like our fanfiction, is it?" Ana sighed tiredly. "They won't just fall in love after years apart, like some sort of romance novel."

"Ge-ge just isn't one to take risks, I guess," Mei mumbled blankly. She frowned. "Which is stupid because Maria-jie-jie is right there!"

"I know!" Ana agreed. "Why can't they open their eyes!?"

"She's really nice!"

"And she's a good cook."

"And she's funny."

"And she makes great flan."

"And she's smart."

"And her parties always have good food."

" ...," Mei turned her head towards Puerto Rico. "Is there anything about her that you like that doesn't relate to food?" she asked incredulously.

Ana snorted. "Of course ...," she scoffed. She lifted her soda in the air. "Her boobs!"

"Jie-jie's boobs!" Mei agreed, lifting up her own soda. She paused. "Huh?"

"Whenever I got hurt, she'd always hug me and put my head against her chest," Ana stated. "I could hear her heart beat and it would calm me. I associate her chest with her heart and how it makes me feel better." She looked at Mei with furrowed brows. "Why do you like touching them so much?"

Mei felt her cheeks heat up. "I um ..." she glanced down at her chest, which didn't protrude nearly as much as her sister's. Truth be told, she didn't have a real reason. "I just like them."

Puerto Rico narrowed her eyes. She shook her head and turned her attention to the house. Maria's bedroom window was lit up. "If they don't act soon, then Jefe is going to just sweep in and ...." Her voice trailed off.

Taiwan tilted her head and looked at her. "And what?"

Ana's eyes narrowed once more as she sat up, her eyes never leaving the window. "What is that?"

Mei furrowed her brows, confused as she turned followed Ana's eyes. Her eyes widened as she saw a silhouette against her sister's window. It seemed to be a woman, which made sense since it was Maria's bedroom. However, what caught her eye was the taller figure looming behind her. They watched in silence as the taller figure came close to Maria's and seemed to wrap its arms around her.

Then, the lights went off.

Mei's mouth dropped. "But ...who ...?"

"Jandro is sleeping in the living room with the triplets, Leste, and Australia ...," Ana muttered.

"Ge-ge was going to leave for the hotel with Yong Soo," Taiwan murmured. The two froze. Their eyes met as a silent agreement crossed between them.

An empty bottle of coke and a can of soda fell to the dirt ground as the two scrambled to get off their hammock. They raced towards the house with nothing on their mind other than America was invading their sister. Possibly again.

"Ah!" Ana slammed into the screen door, swearing vehemently at it as she grabbed the handle and nearly tore it off its hinges in her urgency. They cut through the kitchen, where China was wrapping food to-go and rounded the hall for the stairs.

"Hoy!" Alejandro's voice stopped them as they swept past him and other figure by the front door. He frowned. "Don't run in the house!" he scolded.

"But, hermano-" Ana wheezed frantically as she looked from him, up the stairs, and back. "Maria is-"

"She said she was tired and went to bed," Alejandro frowned. "That's why I'm seeing them out."

The two female nations seemed to move their attention on to the quiet, somewhat amused figure standing by the door, ready to leave at any moment.

"You two look like you have been having fun all day," Kiku chuckled as he held a small paper bag of food in his hand.

"We're not having fun!" Mei yelled as she was torn between saying good-bye to her brother and stopping America's invasion. "America is in Jie-jie's room!" she exclaimed, horrified. "And he's ...he's touching what's mine!"

Ana rolled her eyes. "Her boobs don't belong to you, stupid!"

"Un momento, como?" Mexico frowned as he stood up straight. "Did you say what I think you said?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"America-san is ...where?" Japan asked, equally displeased with the idea.

"He's up there, Jandro!" Ana said as she stomped her foot on the ground.

A furious look graced Alejandro's face. "Que pendejo ...," he growled in a low voice as he pushed himself from the door and ran past Ana and Mei. "That's my sister! Damn it, Gringo!"

Ana ran after him with Mei scrambling to keep up. Japan left his bag of food behind as he rushed after them, unsure what the furious looking man would do.

"They better not be doing what I think they're doing!" Alejandro hissed as he reached the second floor. He reached his sister's room and pressed his ear against the door. Ana squatted down beside him and did the same, with Mei following soon after.

"Mmm ...." A voice moaned, seemingly lost in a moment of indulgent pleasure. "Again ...that feels good."

Mexico's face heated up as Ana and Mei gasped. "Pinche!" Alejandro yelled. He stepped back and slammed his body against the door. A loud thud was heard as the wooden barrier flew open, slamming against the wall as he stumbled in with Mei and Ana at his feet. "Get away from my sister, Gringo!"

Sharp gasps were heard in the dark room as Japan reached in and tried to find the light switch. He ran his hand against the wall until he felt a small switch and flicked it on. A light, yellow light illuminated the room and four pairs of eyes stared back at two equally wide pairs.

Sitting on Maria's large bed, desperately trying to keep their nude bodies covered with pastel blue flat sheets as a pile of pillows and a crumpled duvet lay between them were the Philippines and a pale-skinned, black-haired woman.

Ana's mouth dropped. "That's not Jefe."

Japan's face turned bright red as his hands shot to his nose and mouth before turning around and quickly leaving the room before he could splatter blood across the floor.

"Vietnam-jie-jie!?" Mei choked out as she stared disbelievingly at the sight. The female nation on the bed's face was bright red, going down past her sloping, pale shoulders as she shifted awkwardly.

"Ma ...," Jandro stated as he looked from his sister to her clearly female companion. "Wha ...." His face heated up. His entire body was reacting ...odd.

Maria's face turned rust colored as she grabbed a pillow and threw it at them. "Get out!" she screamed furiously as she grabbed another pillow and hurled it in their direction. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!!!"

"I'm sorry!" Mexico choked out as he finally managed to get his feet moving and turned around. Ana swept down and grabbed the stupefied Mei off the floor, dragging her out the door as Maria scrambled out of bed, bringing her bed sheet with her as approached them.

The door slammed hard just as Mei 's feet were clear into the hall. Maria frantically locked the lock and then dragged a chair to prop it against the door.

"What was that?" a voice snorted from the bed as the layers of crumbled duvet that had been between them moved.

"I've never been so ...," Maria fumed as she made sure the door couldn't be open once more. "Ugh! That Ana and Mei! I expected this from them, but Nueva and Kuya Kiku!"

"If it were Yong Soo, I could understand ...," Anh Linh frowned as she finally lowered the bed sheet and relaxed her shoulders.

Maria shook her head.. "Honestly, what were they thinking?"

"I don't know," Anh Linh frowned as she stretched out on the bed and nestled herself neatly against another warm body. "But we're going to have to explain something to them tomorrow."

"I still can't believe them ...," Maria fumed as she stomped back to bed. She tossed the bed sheet she was wearing on the floor and slipped beneath the duvet as an arm welcomed her back into the bed. She curled up beside a warm, firm body and wrapped her arms around the man laying between her and her sister. "Barging into my room ...."

"Oh, don't feel so bad," a male voice said as long fingers gently played with their hair. He had one arm around each of them as he leaned back, propped against some pillows. He leaned over and tiled his head to take a small nip of her Anh Linh's awaiting lips before kissing her on the mouth. "They were just worried."

Maria frowned. She tilted her head and looked up at the man. "You think this is funny?" she frowned.

He chuckled and stroked the side of her face before turning his attention to her and kissing her lips as well. "Yes," he grinned. "I do."

"Good," Maria said as she ran her hand down his chest before poking at it with her finger. "Then you can explain to them what we're doing in bed together, Mr. de la Cruz."

"I'll do them one better," Juan smirked. "I'll just write this into my fanfic - 'When East Meets West'."

.oOo.____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo. ____.oOo.

A.N. - Japan: 0. Mexico: 0. M!Piri: 2 - In my head canon, Juan has hella game - because he deserves it, damn it.

Yes, Juan finally reached the great heights of fanfiction-dom after a long time at the LJ comm, being left horrible messages by America and Mexico (reference my Juan writes a fanfic fanfic). "WEMW" was a tentative USPiri I briefly played with about how Piri was given as a peace offering between the Sino and the Latin 'special interest' families. She was due to marry her 'brother' Japan when she became an adult, but she falls for the son of Anglo-Frisian, a political family, who is set to marry her younger 'sister' (Puerto Rico). Puerto Rico is attracted to Mexico, who is friends with America, who is friends with Japan, who wants to marry Piri and is friends with Feliciano, who is brothers with Lovino, who may/may not have knocked a drunken Piri up at Puerto Rico's engagement party and is dead set on using her as leverage to get revenge on Spain who somehow wronged him. Then there was some drama and angst and stuff. As you can see, I got very confused and decided not to do it. e_e"

Anyway, did you all get the hints that it would end with Juan at the very end? :3 They're in there!

This concludes the 'Sister' bonding fic! It's crack at the end ...WE NEED MORE JUAN. I believe all I have left on my to-do list is the PiriRomano (working on it) and Pirihon (uh ...). Please correct me if I'm wrong or missing one! Thank you very much for reading!
Current Location: @ Work
Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: "Into the Night" - Santana ft. Chad Kroeger
Known Therefore as the Stalkeesilentside on August 11th, 2010 12:58 am (UTC)
yes we need more juan ;u;

oh the pirihon, is this the one you mentioned to me earlier o:
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
Yep, that's the Pirihon I sent to you earlier. I sent you a summary of my possibly necrophilic idea. O_o
Juliecrossesandguns on August 11th, 2010 09:48 am (UTC)
WHAT THE- I didn't expect Juan at the end! LOL, hahaha XD Now I think of him as sort of a Playboy boss, the ones who drink wine and stuff while scantily clad women fap over him 8D.b

Yes, we need more Juan. Hmmm.
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading! The clues were in there! X3

Someone needs to draw playboy!Juan. (The thought makes me giggle.) XD
dalisay_17dalisay_17 on August 11th, 2010 11:20 am (UTC)

So let me get this right- the ending was a TRIO?! As in, Anh Linh, Maria and Juan? IN BED?! TOGETHER?!?! 0______o I don't mind that- It's just baffling.

That aside- OH GAWD THAT WAS SO AWESOME. You can do serious- AND YOU HAVE REALLY COOL CRACK FICS, TOO. XDXDXDXDXD Thanks for making my day! Greatly! (You have a handful of typos there. That's understandable, seeing the length and the amount of time you allot for your fics.)
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!

Yes, it was a 3some. Yes, Anh Linh, Juan, and Maria. LOL

I'm not done yet, either. I still need to finish writing the PiriRomano and the first part of the Pirihon. D:

3 things influence my typos more than anything:
- how fast I rush through the story (as in this case)
- how fast I type (100+ words per minute) in comparison to my train of thought
- how long my nails are (I grew them out and am having a hard time adjusting to one of my laptops at home. -_-" Lately, there have been more typos than normal.... :|)
malea_delacruzmalea_delacruz on August 11th, 2010 03:34 pm (UTC)
That was so funny.... And I never thought that Juan would be the one in the end..... But I did see the hints, (you know about the Tatay thingy when the triplets their Tatay needed the chair, LOL)

All in all, awesome job.
vivalalixivivalalixi on August 11th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
comment hacking sorry!
eh? i thought they were talking about spain there?
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC)
Re: comment hacking sorry!

Remember that Spain is outside with England at that point. :3
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!

Yes, the Tatay thing was one. In the beginning, Maria says 'we can hear you' and then a reference to an LJ Comm and fanfiction which were used in my last Juan-related fic. Mexico also says they were talking at one point and Puerto Rico stresses for him to talk to MARIA. Lastly, Japan was being told what the dishes were by Juan. :)

Hehehe, I'm glad you got them!
Juliecrossesandguns on August 12th, 2010 05:39 am (UTC)
Ahh, so that's who the Tatay was... I completely forgot about it! XD
vivalalixivivalalixi on August 11th, 2010 08:55 pm (UTC)
OMGWTHISJUANDOINGTHAAAARRRR?!?!?! <-- can u read that? :D

srsly, lol i should have seen it coming. the mentions of the comm. the fics. oh goodness america writing smut. i should have seen it. JUAN.

oh goodie. birthdays! X3

i love ana and mei's interaction here. tho ana always gets the better of her. and mei's kinda fixated on piri's boobs.
goodness. love the crack to break the DE tension from th 12th chap. X3

awesome job!
damagectrl: APH - OT3 - USAPiriMEXdamagectrl on August 11th, 2010 09:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!

UKNOWHUTJUANISDOINGTHAR! (And yes, I was able to read it.)

LOL, there were a few hints. :)

Ana is used to competing with her siblings, so she's good with the tension. Mei's love of Piri's boobs is a little joke; she's not as endowed and finds them fascinating. A lot of people actually do that.
skyfaithskyfaith on August 30th, 2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
That was really funny! Especially the boobs thingy. XD

I like the idea of Playboy!Juan and hope to see more of Juan~
And I didn't see that coming, maybe I wasn't looking so closely?

Why do I like that threesome..? /shot