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28 March 2010 @ 04:16 pm
[fanfic] aph: the only father she ever knew  

Titolo: The Only Father She Ever Knew
Karakter/Pairing: OC!Filipinas, Espana, Nueva Espana
Babala: Unbetaed, written when sleepy, angsty!Firi, crappy rushed ending
Rating: G
Buod: AD 16--. Kid Filipinas is having trouble adjusting to Spain’s patriarchal ways. 
Filipinas angrily slammed the door to her room. She could hear the servants calling outside, begging her, cajoling her to come out. She would have none of it, the patriarchal bastards. Shaking the stiff panuelo off, all manner of modesty lost, she climbed on her four-poster bed to vent off her rage.


Filipinas angrily slammed the door to her room. She could hear the servants calling outside, begging her, cajoling her to come out. She would have none of it, the patriarchal bastards. Shaking the stiff panuelo off, all manner of modesty lost, she climbed on her four-poster bed to vent off her rage.

Dios mio, Filipinas, don’t climb up that tree! Is that how a proper young lady should act?

The governess made her kneel on salt for that. Instinctively, she reached out for her sore knees, wincing when they came into contact with her skirts. Curses, Filipinas thought, if I only remember those curses I used to chant. Angered once again, she all but tore off her clothes, leaving nothing but the flimsy camison that serves as her undergarment.

Filipinas! Stay focused! How can you please your father with your ungraceful steps? 

Father. She almost laughed. He wasn’t even a brother like Kuya Yao was. How can she be related to that cream-colored late riser who takes a bath only once a week? And what was the business with dancing to please him?

Filipinas used to dance to communicate with the gods. To be one with the spirits. To talk with the great warriors of old. Dancing then was free as the wind, wild, unchained – unlike these timed monstrosities with their fixed, boring steps. 

Step out of the room, Filipinas, mi hija. I have something to discuss with your hermano.
But... Papa. Why can’t I stay?
Hija, you’re a child. And a girl. Don’t you have embroidery lessons with Salome?

Her eyes tearing up all of a sudden, Filipinas buried her face on a pillow. Why can’t they understand that she wasn’t a child anymore? She has seen her fair share of blood. She was a warrior, a babaylan – she has fought and won countless battles. Being a girl hadn’t been a burden then. In fact, it was a gift. The mystical powers of the land were bestowed upon her, the datu heeded her advice, and the people both loved and feared her.

Now all was different. No matter if she’s the daughter of Espana – she’s still a girl, always treated lower than boys. Filipinas burst into fresh tears as she remembered the smug look on her brother Nueva Espana’s face. Always the favorite, always Papa’s favored one. She had run away from the room, seething, knowing her father could very well hear her loud stomping footsteps.

The servants’ coaxing suddenly quieted down. Filipinas knew it could only mean one thing. The lock turned on the doorknob and in entered her father, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, Espana.

She kept her face turned away from him, trying to still her sobbing but failing. She felt one corner of her bed sink and a blanket covering her frail, shaking body. A warm hand went and combed up and down her hair.

Why don’t you say something, Papa, Filipinas thought in spite, why don’t you tell me I’m such a bad daughter, that I haven’t learned anything from you, that I couldn’t let go of what you call pagan traditions, that I’m such a failure, that I’m just a waste of time, that you wish I were a boy, that you wish I was more like Nueva, that Nueva is better, that you love Nueva more than me, that- that-

“Sssh, sssh, mi hija, my darling daughter,” Filipinas flailed her arms wildly as Espana pressed her gently against his chest. She hadn’t realized that she was talking aloud, wailing and slamming her little fists on his strong shoulders as he held her ever closer, dropping kisses all over her hair. “Sssh, sssh,” she heard her father whisper, “What you say is not true, hija. You are perfect; you’re my sweet, sweet, angel child.”

Filipinas only wailed louder. I’m not perfect, I’m not an angel, I killed your men, you killed mine, you imprison me, don’t love me, you’re not my father, don’t don’t don’t-

I don’t want to love you, Papa.

Nueva Espana sighed, looking in at his father’s weirdly happy face, and his little sister’s red, tearstained one. The things that go on at their house, really. He was sure of one thing, though. For better or for worse, Espana is Filipinas’ father, the only father she would ever know.


 This is what happens after watching Percy Jackson. TT_TT My body's still not used to sleeping early, so I kind of wrote this while waiting for sleep. XD

I've read that South East Asian countries, especially the island nations, have unusually matriarchal societies. Women can rule, own and inherit property, divorce useless husbands and participate in trade. Women were deemed with mystical powers, as they can bear children. The coming of the Europeans and their patriarchy changed all that. It got me wondering at how Filipinas might have felt - robbed of her powers, even her rights.

Crappy ending anyway :O Firi behaves too much like Romano, IDK.


Current Location: Inglaterra
Current Mood: dorkydorky
Current Music: Spongebob Song
I usually don't like my namekrayonela on March 28th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
Awww, so cute!
And I do agree with you on how alienated Firi would have felt being bombarded with such a strange new culture.

Fatherly Spaaaain *A*

Their family is so.. yeah, there is no word for it XD
Juliecrossesandguns on March 28th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Ahaha, thanks! XD European traditions were very different from hers, so I guess she rebelled at first~

Yep, Papa Espana~ Really, only he could make a stupidly happy face when with bawling child XDD
I usually don't like my namekrayonela on March 28th, 2010 01:08 pm (UTC)
You're welcome :)
I actually feel kind of sad that the Philippines has such a different culture from the rest of Asia.. meh, but that's history :/

I so want to make fanart right now.. ''OTL
Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
Ooh.. I wanna see! XDD
at least we're getting closer to our Asian brothers and sisters :D What with the influx of Korean bands! UKiss was at Party Pilipinas yesterday, ftw. I swear they're invading us!
I usually don't like my namekrayonela on March 29th, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
nyark.. if i ever get started X'D or if I feel my sketch turns out decent enough ''OTL

:D.b yes~!! Korea is so influential these days, now we have Pinoy-Pop *facepalm* do you know xlr8?? .__.
Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC)
Yep! 8D Ahaha, I was laughing when they performed. I mean, so Korean~ *A* What will we do if they get famous? XDD
I usually don't like my namekrayonela on March 29th, 2010 03:28 pm (UTC)
haha, I was just listening to the vid and then I nearly feel off my chair when i heard filipino words.. X'DDD
Coconienia on March 30th, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
There's nothing to be sad of. It's what makes Philippines such a unique country apart from the rest. <3 /invading
I usually don't like my namekrayonela on March 30th, 2010 11:52 am (UTC)
Yeah, I just find it fascinating that our culture is such a melting pot of east and west XD
vivalalixivivalalixi on March 28th, 2010 01:26 pm (UTC)
*bawls* touching... T^T
this sounds like the spain we all know and love from APH... X3
great job! even though it was rather short i enjoyed it a lot!

in PH now more and more women are working. i mean our president's female after all. maybe the power's slowly balancing out now. no longer patriarchal nor matriarchal but equal to both sexes.
Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! <3 I was afraid he was OOC, lol.

Yep, I agree, I think we top in Asia in opportunities for both men and women. *I love our country XDD*
damagectrl: HetaKitty Francedamagectrl on March 29th, 2010 05:52 am (UTC)
Don't forget that patriarchy also implies patrilineal kinship - bloodline through the father/you have your father's surname/clan ties.
nomnomnomepalpie on March 28th, 2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
8D Fatherly spain is loooooove <3
Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 06:00 am (UTC)
*A* Yes he is >3>
damagectrl: HetaKitty Spaindamagectrl on March 29th, 2010 05:35 am (UTC)
Aww...I do love Fatherly and somewhat awkward Spain. C:

This is beside the point, but I can't help but feel that the blurb on matriarchy is far too general and narrow. Deep down, I'm still an anthropologist, so anything regarding culture and society makes me over analyze. *_*

Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 05:59 am (UTC)
Thanks! XDD

It's on A History of Asia by Rhoads Murphey. A textbook our history prof recommended. I couldn't really remember the details but that's the gist of it. T^T I'm so sorry...

Anyway, females really held important positions then. Some parts even have only women as rulers Amazons? There was an account where a Chinese(?) mainland man beat up his mainland wife, and the Dutch observer wrote how it wouldn't be tolerated in Javanese(?) women.

The Dutch were also surprised at the vulgarity of the women. Virginity wasn't of value then so they had sex huts, etc. o_O
damagectrl: HetaKitty Prussiadamagectrl on March 29th, 2010 06:17 am (UTC)
Nah, no worries. History is can only tell you so much, as so little has been recorded in comparison to everything that has happened.

Women did and many places still do, though not to the same extent. The stuff that the Europeans observed were from the eyes of Christians. The control of female sexuality is a commonplace of structured religion rather than it being simply European.

Many matriarchal societies had MALE chiefs, but the chiefdoms are inherited through their mother. Once they leave the seat, it is inherited by their sister's oldest son. I do have to question the social hierarchy of the society that only had women are rulers, as that is very important and we cannot take the observation for face value. There is always a back story and the ones who did research back then and recorded their observations tended to see everything from a Christian male POV and often missed the behind the scenes of sorts of a society.

That's nothing new. They also had numerous sex toys, piercings, and some places practiced what would now be considered ritualistic male homosexuality between adult males and pre/pubescent boys.
Juliecrossesandguns on March 29th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
Ah, I see, I see. It's all a matter of perspective, yes. Nothing is truly objective, huh?

Oh, yes, yes, pederasty, that was popular in Greece, right? :D
damagectrl: HetaKitty Francedamagectrl on March 29th, 2010 06:50 am (UTC)
Nope; we can try, but that's probably the best we can do.

Supposedly in Greece, but other places, too. I was still referring to non-Western tribes, though.